Of Friendship, Having A Hole, and Missing Home

I may not know what your parents do for a living or how you loved to eat Crayolas in 4th grade, stuff I might know about my life-long friends, but what I shared with you TASPers goes way beyond facts. It goes beyond knowing what size underwear you wear (though, heh, I might know that :P) or what is your favorite color.

We were put in an atmosphere that most of us hadn't been exposed to before. Personally, I have no siblings and I live with adults, so I've never lived with someone my own age. Needless to say, I'd NEVER been with 31 other teenagers and 5 "honorary teenagers" in the same house, 24/7 for 6 weeks. It was amazing, silly, fun, incredible, spazzy, funky, and any other adjective you can think of. It was a learning experience in every sort of way; from learning to live with others, to sharing a bathroom (coughcough), to dealing with cleaning up after yourself, balancing a budget, you name it.

As I was saying (or typing), what we all shared goes way beyond knowing all these things... at least for me. I never had major Q&A sessions with most of you: we went straight to living together and having fun. That's the thing: I felt as if I'd known you guys all my life. There was no NEED for the Q&A's. I knew you were awesome and I felt comfortable, so the good times just rolled on. I'd LOVE to know if you liked eating Crayolas in 4th grade and what your parents do for a living, but I'm sort of glad that I didn't need to know that in order to like you and how we all clicked so well, so fast.

Like so many of you have already posted, nothing back home is the same. Things don't measure up, my friends' concerns seem trivial, and I can hardly have an intelligent conversation without practically begging around for it, while at TASP, the latter came naturally. And, maybe it's just me, but there IS a difference in talking about sex and disturbing things with people who JUST talk about sex than with people can just as easily talk about globalization, politics, religion, the future of A.I., foreign policy as subversion, and thigh-wounds. ;)

I was so excited to become a senior and be with my friends, but now that I know you guys and know the potential that is out there, I feel like I'm stuck in a subpar place... And I am! My school sucks and I feel like I could be learning so much more. However, I plan to work a lot on my college search/applications, my oooooverdue personal reading, and all things related to my personal growth, so it's not such a bad thing that I'm drifting a bit away from the people around here.

The atmosphere is so different at my house, though. There is such little tolerance for other lifestyles and certain things. I feel stifled and constricted and it's a horrible feeling. It's not to say that my home-life is the bane of my existence and that I live a horrid, tortured life, but still. You guys get my drift. And home? I feel Telluride House is my home. My house is just a house; just the place where I live until I go to college. It's a little sad. *shrug*

I can't say I'm depressed all the time or that I cry myself to sleep because I'd be lying, but I seriously miss all of you and everything related to our group experience. Nothing here matches up and I have "an indelible TASP-sized hole" in my chest. :( I MISS EVERYTHING.

From the labor quotes (which I shall soon type up and send out ^^) to Froffit.
From everyone complaining about the frittatta to freaking out about the gnats and flies in the kitchen.
From DRAPING to listening to Paul jam on his guitar.
From having Josh randomly pick up people and swing them around to Don clunking around the house.
From all those parties and the Laffy Taffy song to shouting "PENIS!" as loud as we could.
From heating mini-pizzas at 4 A.M. to giggling over someone falling asleep during seminar.
From going to Collegetown to get Bubble-Tea to talking about anything *coughsexcough*. XD
From Levent's hilarious insults (one word: chickpea) to hearing I'M SOOO TIIIIIRED from Johes.
From seeing Mindy's face of sheer terror at the slightest attempt of hugging her because she thought I'd tickle her to actually tickling the guys, especially Dan because he'd make the most hilarious noises and and Don/Ali because they'd break down completely giggling and pleading for mercy.
From the snapping to the, yes, yes, kitchen shift.
From Anthony's wit and sarcasm to BBJ's "DUDE! CANADA! ABSTINENCE! SERIOUSLY!"
From the Planned Parenthood lady to the dressups.
From DRAG NIGHT to "claustrophoooooobia".
From STERILE! to Sheron's awesome noises and mad kung-fu skillz.
From Omonigho's dancing to Alberto's looking so much like a damn high-couture model.
From Ricky saying something's a hot mess to Diya asking for guy-advice.
From Michael's NEVER going to sleep and constantly putting on "Sweet Dreams" on my iPod, to Sarah's hand-raising that could slice someone's head off.
From Ingrid's dancing to Martin's asking if we did the reading.
From Ethiopia Blanket Time to the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song that cracked Nahla up.
From playing "Pick a Finger" and "Psychic Monkey" to fighting over the fat percentage in the milk.
From Hobarting to wanting to "do the Time-Warp agaaaaaaaaaaaain!"
From all the drama to all the gossip.
From staying up til' the wee hours or morning to spelling out "penis" in marshmallows on the dinner tables.
From the infamous water-gun fights to Josh DRENCHING people with buckets of water. :P (Especially if they missed kitchen shift ACCIDENTALLY. coughcough. :P)
From Brendan stealing Froffit from Mindy (XD) to Chris and Yu's incredible cohesion.
From Mike A.'s love of fantasy and robotics to Maria's climbing on every tree she saw (and love of fantasy AND Mike, as well, :P).
From Jenny T.'s particular sweet smell and "So..." to Gawwy's accent (*grin*) and poking.
From PROCRASTINATING til' the last possible minute to Godtower.
From Mindy asking everyone not to mock her to Freya's freaking out at any mention of sex (at least in the beginning, eh, Freya? ;P)
From Marina's addiction to all things Gandhi and peaceful points of view to Grace's spunk and AWESOMENESS.
From not telling anyone there was ice-cream so they wouldn't eat any to Johes eating about a dozen Fudgepops in about, oh, a day.
From Muffins/Shoes/Love-Letters to actually hearing Mindy quote LL and say "Dear My Wife's Vagina: Sorry for the infection."
From vigilanteism to Don taking on everyone during Pubspeaks.
From Grace sketching TASPers during seminar to coming downstairs with aluminum foil hats so I could dye my hair properly.
From the incredibly gorgeous sunsets and plays of light that could be seen from the balcony to the talk of SAT scores that made me want to kill myself (2370?! COUGHCOUGHJOHESCOUGH).
From Laura's corrupting her roomates and being my fellow PR-sis to Stanley's obsession with volleyball.
From Co'Relous' dancing and spelling out his name on the first days about a dozen times to Ali's total chivalry and politeness (as well as his funky accent!).
From all the guys drooling over Linda and singing to her to sleeping in the seminar-rooms.
From NEVER having juice to the glasses all around the house filled with Hershey's semisweet chocolate chips.
From the midnight picnic to stealing Josh's camera.
From diving/hiking/swimming at Tremon park to our KILLER sexy photoshoot.
From rocking out with the Lazer Tag music to getting free stuff at the Dragonboat Festival.
From rolling down hills to free ice-cream with Pop-Rocks.
From Capture the Flag and falling in the mud to buying stuff at The Commons.
From Stella's to the crazy guys that hit on everyone/everything at Wilson Farms.
From sleeping on the balcony that first weekend to waking up early on a weekend to eat delicious pancakes.
From the blanket-fights to the tickle-matches.
From the bruising to the housemeetings and the communal noise.
From taking waaaay more pictures than would fit on a 20 CD set to sliding on the seminar tables (but maybe that was just me, XD).
From having AWESOME profs (sorry, Cornell I! :P) to smirking every time "thigh-wounds" or "sides" were mentioned.
From all the random sleepovers to wondering "Where will Johes wake up next?!"
From the adorable couplings and sexual tension (haha) to watching movies downstairs.
From complaining about readings and translations (coughcough) to Co'Relous always bringing up Shakespeare and/or Toni Morisson. (MY PEOPLE?!)

I could go on, but I won't. This post is long enough already.
I just want to remind you guys of how much I miss you and how much I wish we were all together again... of how much I feel y'all's (I had to use that word, lol) pain and how we should all keep in contact even if we are traveling a distant land or stuck in a deserted island with no internet (smoke signals, anyone?). Know that you have a true friend in me who will do anything in her power to help out if you're in need. And, by golly, I will KEEP IN CONSTANT CONTACT!

And, a few quotes:

"It’s the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter. "
Marlene Dietrich (1901 - 1992)

"There was a definite process by which one made people into friends, and it involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time. "
Rebecca West (1892 - 1983)

And finally, a slightly modified quote to end all this that I think really applies to us:

"AIM and laughter is the closest distance between TASPers."

Oh, and a random draping/sex quote just because I can:

"Does it really matter what these affectionate people do-- so long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses!" -Mrs. Patrick Campbell

Y'hear that Josh/Jenny?! *grin* We HAVE no horses... plus it doesn't say anything about Telluride couches/mattresses/floors/tables/etc. :P