Dear Everyone: Sorry, this is a long one.

Many people I know and love have written end-of-the-year reflections. And yet, until now, I haven't. Perhaps this is because I fear being judged or despised by, say, my school friends, who are not as close to me as you folks are (metaphorically speaking).

The other day, I came to the recognition that this has really been an excellent year. Don't hate me, as I may sound like an unfeeling, cocky bastard (slash betch)...but I am truly happy right now. I am content with myself: the way people perceive me and my actions, the different roles that form my character, and the prospects my future holds. I am thrilled to be who I am and to be continuously finding out who that is. I am defining my character and my identity, and much of this is because of you guys.

This summer, I flew to TASP directly from Lincoln, Nebraska - where I spent the worst week of my life. (Pictures are on facebook, heh.) For the first time, I understood what 'the creepy kid' feels like: you know, the one whom you talk about - in fun! - who really doesn't belong. I didn't belong in the glitzy world of performances and name dropping ("Ohmagawd, Aaron Lazar taught my workshop! I carry a photo of him in my bra for good luck!" <- yeah, I know. Weird). Examples: I hadn't taken voice lessons since the age of three; I didn't have a moneysmile; I hadn't memorized the songs in RENT; I didn't have tap, jazz, character, or ballet shoes, nor did I have Airborne, Performer's Secret, or Singer's Saving Grace. (I learned a lot that week!!) I ate alone. I slept alone. That was the lowest I've ever been in my life. I actually had to remind myself that "I'm a nice person and someone, somewhere likes me!"

And then I flew to Ithaca and found a bunch of someones.

Thank you for being so loving. You kids were the highlight of my year - perhaps my life - and you are helping me grow and change. You are so good to me! I consider many of you to be my best friends.

So, with that in mind, here are my resolutions for the year. I expect you to keep me accountable.

1. I am changing my name legally, for my 18th birthday. Grace LeeYong ...____? Suggestions?
2. I am going to see at least one of you. Or, hell, I resolve to go to the reunion, if we have one.
3. Related to the last resolution...I am going to take a roadtrip this summer.
4. That roadtrip may extend into a year's stay, because I have my mother's blessing to defer my admittance to college and spend the year living somewhere.
5. Get a tattoo. Heh.

Anyway, I'm stealing this from UTAustin's blog-extraordinaire, because it caught my fancy. (Thank you, Tracy!)

http://www.meish.org/projects/mayfly/

This is how I would describe my year in 24 words.

sleep is dead. Summer:
The creepy kid. Lonely.
Ishmael.
My people: Love! Superlatives! <--This is you guys.
Chicago.
School = friendless.
Killed a man. ....Anymore!
Bliss.
Identity! Happy myself.

Who knows what 2007 will bring?

Love,
Grace